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Premium Member
2,101 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
From TimeZone:

Nine Things I Know About Watches:

1. Free-sprung balances are neither free nor sprung.

2. People able to afford $50k watches aren't any smarter than those who can't - or at least they don't act any smarter in public.

3. People who leave their watches "crown down" at night should be observed closely.

4. People who wear their watches to bed aren't having sex on a regular basis.

5. People who are having sex on a regular basis don't wear their watches to bed.

6. People who wear their watches during sex, don't need watch winders.

7. The folks at Rolex laugh about their bracelets.

8. Patek, Lange and Rolex are like golf balls. The same company makes them all. As a matter of fact, Dunlop makes everything except cars.

9. The little doo-hickey that holds the what-cha-ma-call-it in line with the thing-a-ma-jig, is one of the most difficult parts to make in a watch.

Y2K advice from the same site.

Outdated, but funny, nonetheless:

Ok you Watch Weenies©, it's all over but the blackouts. The catastrophic crippling that will end social order as we know it is but hours away. Months will pass before we are back together with a credit system that will support our watch habits. That last new watch you bought? It'll be vintage by the time you figure out how (or why) to buy another. For the first time in 100 years you just might actually need to know what time it is. Looters and bandits tend to keep to strict schedules. I don't know why, so don't be asking. Since your only form of currency for a long time to come will be things of use to others, here is a conversion chart for what your watches will most likely be worth:

See? Your watches are worth more than you think. I just hope Andrew Crewe owns some watch by midnight so he doesn't have to count on those old golf clubs for subsistence. I've never known anyone beaten silly with their own watch. My God man, think of your family. Hunker down people. I'm telling you, it ain't gonna be pretty. Your best bet is to find someone with a Rolex and stick close by. If things get really bad, come on out to the Compound. I'll build a fire!

16,743 Posts
My Nine things:

1. I'll always want another.
2. Never believe what you hear on TV.
3. Calling a watch a "timepiece" means it's over-priced.
4. Watches are strange creatures! What other critter has hands on its face?
5. No one ever uses their chronograph functions. And people who say they do are lying!
6. Rolex and Omega are actually made at the Renato factory in Indonesia.
7. A broken watch is frequently more correct than I am.
8. Swiss Made doesn't mean diddly.
9. Like the moon, Invictas are made of cheese.

927 Posts
1. Renatos are not made nor repaired in China, but their polishing cloths are.
2. Invicta Reserve initial pricing will never be lower.
3. Renato initial pricing will never be lower.
4. Invicta QC checklists are your absolute guarantee of a defect-free watch.
5. Invicta Limited Editions are numbered by the number they can produce and sell.
6. Invicta Reserves all come in a fancy wooden box... sometimes.
7. Renato OTVs come in a fancy wooden box... never.
8. An Invicta 8926 and the like are superior values to Rolex, Omega, etc.
9. Invicta "Made in the USA" watches with Citizen-Miyota movements are 100% American made.

5,010 Posts
Thx for the lighter side of things. Maybe someone should add these;

10) Always leave your credit card at home if you are going anywhere near a watch dealership.
11) Always surrender your credit card to your spouse before you get on the internet (if you are single, please hand over your card for safe keeping with me :) )

Now can someone suggest how to break it to my wife...I accidently won an ebay bid. :blushing:

3,087 Posts
I disagree with Grady's #6 (6. People who wear their watches during sex, don't need watch winders. )

It should read..... 6. People who are not having sex, don't need watch winders.:blushing:
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