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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We all read with delight Revolutions crime beat report of the assault on Mr. Lalo today. I was able to dig up the prosecution report today from a friend.


The event occurred on 02 26 07 at 1427 hours in front of 1362 Constitution Ave. S.W. WDC. I was assigned to Scout Car 1021 and was engaged in routine patrol and in full uniform. At 1429 hours, I received a radio run for an assault in progress at the event location. Upon arrival at the scene, I observed C-1 Lalo,Eyal W/M 44, sitting on the steps of the Air and Space Museum holding a handkerchief to his forehead area. I observed a small amount of blood had soaked through the handkerchief. C-1 was slightly out of breath, and was agitated. C-1 intimated to me that he was standing in line in front of the event location with his wife and children, W-1,2 and 3, awaiting to enter the museum. He further advised that he heard the word "liar" screamed from somewhere behind him. He turned around to look and observed S-1 approaching him at a fast pace on foot and in a menacing manner. C-1 stated that at this point, S-1 removed his wristwatch from his left wrist, and hurled it with his right hand directly at C-1. The wristwatch struck C-1 in the head, causing a 2inch laceration to the forehead and scalp area. C-1 fell to the ground, causing the listed pain and injury. S-1 was detained by Smithsonian Guard staff until my arrival. When asked if C-1 could identify the person that injured him, he pointed at S-1 and stated "thats him right there". S-1 who self identified as Foghorn, Boscoe W/M 77 was arrested without incident and charged with ADW Wristwatch and Throwing a Missile in Public Space. The weapon was identified as a large wristwatch labeled Invicta-SubAqua Noma Three Project ABDA and put on the property book for evidence. C-1 was transported by DCFD Medic 32 to G.W. Hospital for treatment. S-1 was transported to 1D for processing. During transport, and post-Miranda, S-1 issued an excited utterrance of " I would do it again, a CEO should know his product."
 

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We all read with delight Revolutions crime beat report of the assault on Mr. Lalo today. I was able to dig up the prosecution report today from a friend.


The event occurred on 02 26 07 at 1427 hours in front of 1362 Constitution Ave. S.W. WDC. I was assigned to Scout Car 1021 and was engaged in routine patrol and in full uniform. At 1429 hours, I received a radio run for an assault in progress at the event location. Upon arrival at the scene, I observed C-1 Lalo,Eyal W/M 44, sitting on the steps of the Air and Space Museum holding a handkerchief to his forehead area. I observed a small amount of blood had soaked through the handkerchief. C-1 was slightly out of breath, and was agitated. C-1 intimated to me that he was standing in line in front of the event location with his wife and children, W-1,2 and 3, awaiting to enter the museum. He further advised that he heard the word "liar" screamed from somewhere behind him. He turned around to look and observed S-1 approaching him at a fast pace on foot and in a menacing manner. C-1 stated that at this point, S-1 removed his wristwatch from his left wrist, and hurled it with his right hand directly at C-1. The wristwatch struck C-1 in the head, causing a 2inch laceration to the forehead and scalp area. C-1 fell to the ground, causing the listed pain and injury. S-1 was detained by Smithsonian Guard staff until my arrival. When asked if C-1 could identify the person that injured him, he pointed at S-1 and stated "thats him right there". S-1 who self identified as Foghorn, Boscoe W/M 77 was arrested without incident and charged with ADW Wristwatch and Throwing a Missile in Public Space. The weapon was identified as a large wristwatch labeled Invicta-SubAqua Noma Three Project ABDA and put on the property book for evidence. C-1 was transported by DCFD Medic 32 to G.W. Hospital for treatment. S-1 was transported to 1D for processing. During transport, and post-Miranda, S-1 issued an excited utterrance of " I would do it again, a CEO should know his product."

That sounds like the opening of a Law and Order episode. Pretty good. You write good tickets.
 

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Seriously, I don't think this is funny. Since I was the individual who was fortunate enough to have met Mr. Lalo in person, I don't like even the insinuation that someone would ever "throw a watch" or anything else at the gentleman.

While I don't expect you to like me saying so or to agree with me, I think it's over the top.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Seriously, I don't think this is funny. Since I was the individual who was fortunate enough to have met Mr. Lalo in person, I don't like even the insinuation that someone would ever "throw a watch" or anything else at the gentleman.

While I don't expect you to like me saying so or to agree with me, I think it's over the top.
I don't mind at all that you don't like it. This was based off of Revolutions post in your original thread. I think it's humorous, I'm a retired cop so I knew how to write it. I am certainly not wishing this to happen to Mr. Lalo or encouraging anyone to assault him. It was a humorous anecdote.:001_tt2:
 

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Wow, what else can one say? No more jokes Banned!! Bad boy!!
Seriously, I don't think this is funny. Since I was the individual who was fortunate enough to have met Mr. Lalo in person, I don't like even the insinuation that someone would ever "throw a watch" or anything else at the gentleman.

While I don't expect you to like me saying so or to agree with me, I think it's over the top.
 

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Seriously, I don't think this is funny. Since I was the individual who was fortunate enough to have met Mr. Lalo in person, I don't like even the insinuation that someone would ever "throw a watch" or anything else at the gentleman.

While I don't expect you to like me saying so or to agree with me, I think it's over the top.
Agreed, it's a bit over the top.

There are a lot of dangerous nuts out there and I'm sure Eyal has his safety in mind (as well as his wife and kid's) when he's vacationing. He probably can't just relax when he's out and about like we can.

JMHO. :001_smile:
 

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It's called satire folks. Not to be taken in any way other than intended.

And I really don't think Eyal is quite the celebrity you might think he is outside of the ShopNBC audience. I seriously doubt whether he needs bodyguards, and I'm sure he's not hounded by the paparazzi either.
 

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Paparazzi, no...

But I'm still not comfortable with it. I can only imagine how Mr. Lalo would feel reading this post. Seeing as he was just in D.C., and someone on the web is now posting fake police reports about injuries, stretchers, etc., it seems enough to give anyone an uneasy feeling. Nobody wants to worry about bumping into a crazy who has a personal grudge to vent, but they are out there these days.

I know I wouldn't like reading a web post about me being assaulted and getting a concussion, satire or not.

And, I think there are other ways we can rib Mr. Lalo (if that's your thing) that don't include physical attacks. Sorry to sound like sour grapes, but that's how I feel.
 

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It's called satire folks. Not to be taken in any way other than intended.

And I really don't think Eyal is quite the celebrity you might think he is outside of the ShopNBC audience. I seriously doubt whether he needs bodyguards, and I'm sure he's not hounded by the paparazzi either.
Satire or not... my first thought was this is the internet. When someone google's the name that post is gonna show.

Dave
 

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I only laughed (and still do) fure pure satirical relief. I think Eyal's an honest guy who runs a great company that I will always support, and would never wish any physical harm on him. I took this from a "imagine if" standpoint in a hypothetical setting. Just separating reality from comedy, like when George C. Scott got hit in the crotch with a football on The Simpsons...
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Mr. Seph,
You have made it patently clear that you do not find my post amusing. That is your right. The more you post about the maladies of such a post however, the longer you extend it's life on the front page, which in turn offends you again. If your goal is for me to retract it or apologize, I'm sorry but I will not do so. Stop reading it, and you will no longer upset yourself. I know the in's and out's of the law, and there is nothing defammatory or incendiary about my posting. Bad Taste- possibly. I highly doubt I am providing a blueprint for a future assault against Mr. Lalo. Perhaps you should not have posted his exact whereabouts in the District. I would hate for some "nut" to read your post and be able to attack him because you carelessly provided a location for him.
 

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It's called satire folks. Not to be taken in any way other than intended.

And I really don't think Eyal is quite the celebrity you might think he is outside of the ShopNBC audience. I seriously doubt whether he needs bodyguards, and I'm sure he's not hounded by the paparazzi either.
I realize there are nut jobs out there but I hardly think that Lalo would be high on their watch throwing hit list. It's not like his name is high profile like that of John Lennon or Ronald Reagan’s. I am pretty sure that if Lalo was to read the thread and all of the posts he would take it in the spirit in which it was intended, it’s a joke and nothing more. The guy is just another normal human being like the rest of us and I am willing to bet he has a sense of humour like some of us have.
 
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